What is the next Chapter

Taken in Lake Tahoe during a 2 day hike.

We are approaching the end of yet another month, We are now moving on to the second half of 2011. I look back, which I have been doing more and more lately, and wonder if I made the right turn. If I did indeed take the right path in life.

I can't complain, I have my health, a good job and live comfortably. I can't help to think that there has to be more. There is a sense of un-fulfillment currently in my life. A dissatisfaction with everything. There is a certain void. Of course, having been out of a 2.5 year relationship doesn't help either. I won't discuss that right here, since I am still feeling resentful and completely discourage.

I am going to talk about a subject that I really dont like to talk about. I never felt comfortable talking about dating. Since it is a personal thing and people tend to take what I say the wrong way. People naturally tend to judge others. Even when we say we dont, we still do.

Dating has become boring for me. It is not as exciting anymore. Maybe your saying, you have not found the right person yet. Well that could be true. I wonder if I should be dating, or if I am better of just being single for the rest of my life. Is it selfish to want to be alone?

I guess in a way, I miss having someone to love and be loved. It is what all humans crave for. It is part of who we are. We are in constant search for that partner that completes us. I dont know what is going to happen in the next 6 months. A lot could happen.

One thing is for sure, I am not going to wait. If it happens it happens. I move forward with whatever plans I have and if that special someone happens to come along then, Great, I will have someone to share it with.

Now, being single again, leaves me a bit on the edge. I don't know how to even start. Do I want to start again? I guess what it is is that I know I will have to get to know someone new and that person will have to get to know me. The cycle repeats again. Here we go... this could take weeks and months. I dont think I no longer have patience for this.

I might sound cynical about this whole dating thing.. but if you knew what I have gone through you would totally understand. It is the process of dating that I dont like. Unfortunately it has to be done that way. I am a super hypersensitive person with a lot of emotions in me. I wear my feeling on my sleeves. Most guys are not like that so I am cursed in that way. I care too much and I dont want to care. I dont want to feel. I am at the age that I am to old to be playing these dating games. It brings to mind the Peacocks, trying to impress their prospects with an array of beautiful feathers. The most beautiful one, wins the heart of their mate.

So, I ask myself at this time. What is in store for me in the next couple of months. I need something that can get me going. Not only in relationship but in everything else. I am planning to run an ultra in September and I am hoping that this would kick my butt. I am so hungry for adventure and a challenge. But at the same time, I am also starving for some kind of love. Real love.. not the pretend I need you love. I am tired of that kind of love. The being used and abuse type of love.

Enough said and enough of my ranting. I move one and I dont look back. That is all I can do for now.

Cheers

Adventure in Speed Dating

Well, I went for it and did Speed Dating for the first time with Fastlife.com at Moxie (Picture above). It was better then I expected. I learned that I can be very sociable once I get started and found it very easy to talk to people. It was a bit disorganized, but I heard it is unusual. They had the wrong list and found out that instead of 10 - 15 girls there were only 7 girls and 15 guys. So, this is how I did or how it went.
Contestant #1 - I found her to be very pleasant and attractive. I could not figure out her accent so I asked her where is she from and she is from Ecuador. She has a beautiful name and nice black hair. Our conversation flow very well and the 7 minutes went fast. She was surprised to learn that I am Hispanic. I marked a Yes on her
Contestant #2 - What a difference on the dynamic of conversation. She seem very nice, and does a lot of running, but beside that we did not have much to talk about. I marked a No on her.
Contestant #3 - She seem to be a bit shy and nervous and was not sure if this was for her. She was very pretty. She wanted to leave, so I consoled her and telling her that it was fine and that we are all on the same boat and that one must take risks. Spend the whole boost her confidence. She ended up leaving after me. I marked a No on her just because she did not seem ready for anything
Contestant #4 - This one was very pretty, she is Greek and spoke Greek very fluent, loves to travel and loves biking. I was really attractive to her. We talked and the time flew so fast, I did not get to talk about my biking experience. I am interested in her because she love biking. I marked a Yes to her
At this point, I had to stand in line for the rotation, since there were more guys then girls. This is were I order another glass of Pinot Grigio and mingled with other guys.
Contestant #5 - When I asked her where she worked, she said here at Moxie, they did not have enough girls so the host asked her if she was interested, since she is new to town she said yes. But she looked to young, but we had a lot in common. She is into the film and video production and loves hiking and camping. She is a bit taller then me and not really my type. I still marked a Yes for her. Who know we could be friends if nothing else.
Contestant #6 - This one, I had a hard time having a conversation with. We asked each other what we do and where we have traveled and that was it. The conversation did not flow very well. She was pleasant but we did not connect at all. I marked a No for her
Contestant #7 - The first thing out of her mouth was, I know you from somewhere. Wow, it is interesting, because she looked familiar to me. She has long beautiful flowing hair, green eyes and very fit. We spend almost the whole time trying to figure out where we know each other. It is just killing me as to where I know her from. She said that she even recognized my voice also. We did have a bit in common. She has hiked and camped a lot out west. Same places I have been to. She was really cute. But wonder where I know her from. I am still thinking about it. So I marked a Yes for her.

What happens now? Well, I am now waiting to receive an email to let me know if I got a yes to my yes. If there is a match, we then can communicate with each other and go on a date. I don't expect any yes or anything out of it. It was definitely an interesting experience and found it very interesting the difference of interaction between each person. I found it very fascinated. I don't think I was knock out with anyone but would go on a date with them and see what happens. I would probably do it again and see what happens

Still fun.
Danny