It's 2012

Well, its finally 2012.  A new year for contemplating our coming year.  What do we want to get out of this year?  Where do we want to go?  How are we going to do it?  What kind of challenge will be put on your path? Where are we now and where we come from.  
Looking back to 2011, I can only say nothing significant comes at me.  That in itself is saying a lot.  Nothing significant.  That's right, 2011 was quiet insignificant.  How do I change that?  
Change only requires 1 step.  That step towards your goal.  The motivation of starting it up is what makes it hard to begin with.  Once you start, and continue doing what you want is when  you will see change. 




I have a lot of goals for this coming year.  Some are physical challenges that I would like to continue.  Others are personal challenge that requires to take the necessary steps to towards gaining my own personal goals.  




One common thread that links all of my goals is "Happiness".  It is what everyone strives for.  The main goal for me to stop procrastinating and living the life I should be living.  I have been in a rut for over a year now.  It is time for me to get out of my hole and come up and face all the challenges that comes my way.  A lot of them will be challenges that I do not want to face, but will need to deal with it in order to move forward.  
I have 365 days to do what I need to do. 




Cheers

What's Next....Life?

Question mark by Marco Bellucci

As I sit here in my computer room here at home, I wonder what I have done this year?  Where have I gone this year?  What awesome place have I gone to?  The answer, absolutely nowhere and nothing.  For a lot of you who knows me this is very unlike me.  I am usually out somewhere in the world either running a marathon, cycling to somewhere or hiking, camping somewhere.   None of that happened this year.  I ask myself, why? What is going on?  

The answer is still unknown.  Have I lost the motivation?  Where has my adventure spirit gone?  Have I done, gone and seen too much?  

There seems to be some sort of negative energy that is sucking on my soul that I need to expunge.   This is the only thing I can think of.  

My only satisfaction I have had this year is Coaching for Team in Training/ Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  It has given me a different perspective in running and coaching.  I truly enjoy seeing my runners each week reach their goals.  Running farther then they have ever dreamed about.  After running 20 marathon, 15 Half marathon, and 18 century rides, it has brought me back to the basics. Coaching has allowed me to remember how it used to feel about running.  

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was coaching TNT runners at the Chicago Half Marathon and was at mile 5, 6 and 11,12.  I had a sprain ankle that I was trying to recover from, but seeing everyone running.. pushing their way to the finish line gave me a new sense of excitement.  I wanted to be out there running again.  I felt again that drive, that fun of running.  Every time I saw one of my runners, I would jump in and throw some positive words and reinforcement off encouragements.  It brought me great joy to see how happy they were to see me and run and help them continue on.  I had no idea the satisfaction I would get out of it. 

So, moving forward, what am I going to do?  I thought and thought of what I can do next year.  I know my body has asked over and over for a break from running.  The pivoting point of when I got burned out was right after the 2nd toughest marathon in the Nation.  Leadville, Colorado Marathon.  Running at 10,000 feet to 13,500 feet and back over rocky terrain and at some parts impossible to run.... was extremely taunting.  With only about 130 runners and about 25% of them quitting I kept on going.  I did not see any end to it.  Talking to some of the other runners it seemed like I was the only marathoner there among all the ultra marathoners.  Normally at my peak I would run a full marathon at 4:10.  This one took me 8 hours.  I just kept on going and going... no matter what. Quitting and giving up was never an option to me.  

I dont believe in the words "I CAN'T"  I just dont say these words.  They do not exist to me. I can and I will, no matter what. 

So this coming years, things will start moving up with new adventure and new races.  I am going to step it up.  The plan will be to run 1 or 2 marathon then 1 50 miler and 1 100 miler ultra.  See how I feel.  The itch will hit me again.  I can feel it.  

My annual bike ride across Iowa will be on next year.  It will be my 11th year crossing the state of Iowa, 500 miles in 7 days.  Via bicycle of course. 

There will be some hikes and camping among my goals for next year.  I have hiked the Grand Canyon Five times.  All in the south rim.  I think it is time to do a Rim to RIm to Rim hike from South to North back to south.  

No more messing around next year.  The new adventures begin.  A new chapter of living life to the fullest with no regret.  Do it now before you cant.  

What I want people to say when I turn 98 years old is "Wow, he really lived life to the fullest... he has lived"  

Good to be alive no matter what

Life! What is it? It sounds like a strange question. Through out history man has been contemplating on this question. It is the ultimate question. But no mater what is life, we have it. We are living, breathing beings on this planet. There are no 2 people alike, physically, mentally, emotionally.

In our life we have to try to make the most of it. In comparison to the time of the universe we only live for a tiny fraction of a time. Life is a quick fleeting moment. This is why we need to find within ourselves what is really important for you. Be true to yourself. This is another strange statement to say. Be True to yourself. You can be not true to others but who are you fooling if you are not true to yourself. You really have no where to hide from yourself. Believe me people have tried, pursuing drugs, alcohol and other means. If you just accept who you are, you would be much more happy with ourselves.

We don't have time for drama or getting frustrating over petty things. Is it really worth it.

If you always want to do something, what is really stopping you. Go for it. Live your life to the fullest with no regret. No one will live your life for you. You have the power to control yourself and determine your path in life.

Absorb all you can in life. Experience all you can. Learn all you can. Be happy and don't get angry at the little things. Express yourself freely. Don't be afraid of what others think. It is your life. Live it. Live it the way you want.

To many people misplace their priority and live a miserable life. Its those around you who care and love you that makes a big difference in your life. We are what I call "sensual" people. By this I mean we all react based on our sense and feelings. We are emotional beings. All life and all of our actions are based on our own feelings. The emotions that we feel determines what we do. We are need senses. We use music and art to escape and to feel.

This is not bad, if focused right.

So get out there and enjoy your life. Enjoy your presences on this planet. Be aware of your breathing, your body, your essences. You are a unique person that does not exist anywhere.

Do it.. let go out there and live life..

What is the next Chapter

Taken in Lake Tahoe during a 2 day hike.

We are approaching the end of yet another month, We are now moving on to the second half of 2011. I look back, which I have been doing more and more lately, and wonder if I made the right turn. If I did indeed take the right path in life.

I can't complain, I have my health, a good job and live comfortably. I can't help to think that there has to be more. There is a sense of un-fulfillment currently in my life. A dissatisfaction with everything. There is a certain void. Of course, having been out of a 2.5 year relationship doesn't help either. I won't discuss that right here, since I am still feeling resentful and completely discourage.

I am going to talk about a subject that I really dont like to talk about. I never felt comfortable talking about dating. Since it is a personal thing and people tend to take what I say the wrong way. People naturally tend to judge others. Even when we say we dont, we still do.

Dating has become boring for me. It is not as exciting anymore. Maybe your saying, you have not found the right person yet. Well that could be true. I wonder if I should be dating, or if I am better of just being single for the rest of my life. Is it selfish to want to be alone?

I guess in a way, I miss having someone to love and be loved. It is what all humans crave for. It is part of who we are. We are in constant search for that partner that completes us. I dont know what is going to happen in the next 6 months. A lot could happen.

One thing is for sure, I am not going to wait. If it happens it happens. I move forward with whatever plans I have and if that special someone happens to come along then, Great, I will have someone to share it with.

Now, being single again, leaves me a bit on the edge. I don't know how to even start. Do I want to start again? I guess what it is is that I know I will have to get to know someone new and that person will have to get to know me. The cycle repeats again. Here we go... this could take weeks and months. I dont think I no longer have patience for this.

I might sound cynical about this whole dating thing.. but if you knew what I have gone through you would totally understand. It is the process of dating that I dont like. Unfortunately it has to be done that way. I am a super hypersensitive person with a lot of emotions in me. I wear my feeling on my sleeves. Most guys are not like that so I am cursed in that way. I care too much and I dont want to care. I dont want to feel. I am at the age that I am to old to be playing these dating games. It brings to mind the Peacocks, trying to impress their prospects with an array of beautiful feathers. The most beautiful one, wins the heart of their mate.

So, I ask myself at this time. What is in store for me in the next couple of months. I need something that can get me going. Not only in relationship but in everything else. I am planning to run an ultra in September and I am hoping that this would kick my butt. I am so hungry for adventure and a challenge. But at the same time, I am also starving for some kind of love. Real love.. not the pretend I need you love. I am tired of that kind of love. The being used and abuse type of love.

Enough said and enough of my ranting. I move one and I dont look back. That is all I can do for now.

Cheers

A new era, a new Beginning

Its half way through May and quickly approaching June, halfway of 2011. I have been reflecting the last couple of days and have noticed a change in myself. A different side that i am not used to. I look back and from 2004 to 2009, I have been active in everything in my life. Since then, I have ran 21 marathon, 11 Half marathons, 6 week long 500 mile bike ride across Iowa, 14 century rides (100 miler,1 day), 26 hour relay run from Madison, to Milwaukee to chicago with no sleep for 36 hours, ran the 2nd toughest marathon in the Nation in Leadville, CO, at 10,000 ft to 13,500 ft which took me 8 hours to finish, hiked the Grand canyon twice. Been to Alaska and did a 5 day rafting, camping trip. Saw bears feast on Salmon at Katamai NP, Hiked the Na pali coast line in Kauai and who know what else I have done.

After 2009, I have seem to have temporarily taken a break from all activity.
But that is all now going to change. I am moving on to a new era, a new gift of life and a new phase in my life. I am coming back more adventurous and more risky then before. If I ever die, I would want to die doing something that I love.

I am single, no commitment, alone, and no one to answer to. I am going to do what I want to do. There is no holding me back.
I don't seem to click with anyone or anyone with me. At first, yes, but things and circumstance changes. I have to admit, I am a very difficult person to admit and I am straight forward and set in my ways. That is who I am. I am a complex person with multiple personality.

My future goals are as follow and in no certain order.

• Hike the North side of the Grand Canyon
  
• Possibly hiking the Grand Canyon from Rim to Rim to Rim straight
• Try to run a marathon in each state
• Run an ultra 100 miler
• Run the Dance with Dirt in Hell Michigan, 50 miler
• Thru hike the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) a 4 to 5 month hike
• Finally do a triathlon, need to improve my swimming
  
• Run the Great wall of China marathon
• Run marathon in Europe

There are probably more as I think about it. But this is it for now
Cheers,

Fragility of life

In the past couple of weeks, with my father getting worse and now getting better. Going to the hospital and seeing others, old and young, very sick, it has made me re-think my own life.

This was a big wake up call for me. Not only to remind myself how delicate life is and how much we need to appreciate others. Anything could happen to us. We might be the healthiest person on earth, but we can not escape any illness or accident that might come our way in a blink of an eye.

When my dad was in the hospital is made me realize my own health. How important it is to maintain and live a healthy lifestyle. This only reinforces how important it is to continue to stay fit by running, cycling, working out and eating a good diet.

I have been fortunate in my life to not suffer from any illness or injury. I have been able to stay healthy and fit, more times then others.

I know so many people personally that have endure so much illness, suffering and bad overall health. I know quite a few people who are Leukemia and lymphoma survivors as well as Cancer survivors. I can't even imagine what is like. This motivates me to continue to participate with the Leukemia and lymphoma society as a marathon coach. It is a way of being thankful for my own health and helping others get through this illness and others.

Continue to live your life to the fullest. Life is fragile and can be taken away from you in a moment, with no warning. Don't ever leave thinks for the next day. If you can do it, do it now.

Since my dad has been sick with Congestive heart failure, I have been going in and out of doctors, hospitals and have even had to go to the doctor myself with a chronic throat issue. I have realized that one of the most important ways to keep your heart healthy is to use it. Running is so good for your heart. It is a muscle and needs to be worked out. Not only does running help your heart, but it has also shown to strengthen your bones. Cardio and a good diet is so important.

That is why, I will continue to run marathon, and cycle centuries and keep pushing myself physically by doing fun, and adventurous things.

Live life as it is your last day and live it without regret.

Danny

Life Changing

Lately, I have been thinking about life. I have dreams, lots of dreams... what the question is how do I make these dream a reality? Change. I think you need to figure out what you need to change to make your dreams come true. There are many life’s questions that often goes unanswered.

• Why am I here?
• Why did this happen to me?
• What is my purpose?
• Can I do better or is this the best I can do?
• Who am really am I?
• Do I pretend to be someone else to others and to myself?
• Is my existence just a fake?
• Am I holding myself back from my full potential?
• What do I really want out of life?

These are some thoughts that I tend to ponder on. Often when i am running or going for a long bike ride.. my thoughts drift off to these topics.

First, what I need to do is purge all negative energy around me. There are so many negativity that it soak up my soul and vibe. I need to defend or avoid these negative influence, people or activities, events. It is not only harmful for my soul but it sucks out my entire energy and I left drained out. I need to created a surplus of positive energy that I can take in. How do I do this. Probably by doing positive things and hanging around with positive people. Taking time and becoming more calm and more forgiving of myself. Who is the hardest person on you, but yourself.

Changing my way of thinking is important. I don’t know how yet, but I am hoping that one day I will be able to automatically do this. I guess loving yourself would help because, in my case, no one does.
Living your life the way you want to is important. I have always believed you have to live life like it is your last without any regrets. You only have one life to live. Take advantage of every opportunity. Forget your past, but learn from it but don't dwell on it. Experience will make you wiser as you get older. I want to be 89 years old and have people say, wow, he is living the life.. he has had such a full life and have done what he wanted to do.

Give yourself some goals... and take them in baby steps to reach them. If you fail, keep at it until you succeed. Life is not perfect, and we are going to fail millions of time, but as long as we learn from each failure we will eventually succeed. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Stay focus and don't let anyone tell you different. Remember its your life not their,so they should not care about what and how you do things.