Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Good to be alive no matter what


Life! What is it? It sounds like a strange question. Through out history man has been contemplating on this question. It is the ultimate question. But no mater what is life, we have it. We are living, breathing beings on this planet. There are no 2 people alike, physically, mentally, emotionally.
In our life we have to try to make the most of it. In comparison to the time of the universe we only live for a tiny fraction of a time. Life is a quick fleeting moment. This is why we need to find within ourselves what is really important for you. Be true to yourself. This is another strange statement to say. Be True to yourself. You can be not true to others but who are you fooling if you are not true to yourself. You really have no where to hide from yourself. Believe me people have tried, pursuing drugs, alcohol and other means. If you just accept who you are, you would be much more happy with ourselves.
We don't have time for drama or getting frustrating over petty things. Is it really worth it.
If you always want to do something, what is really stopping you. Go for it. Live your life to the fullest with no regret. No one will live your life for you. You have the power to control yourself and determine your path in life.
Absorb all you can in life. Experience all you can. Learn all you can. Be happy and don't get angry at the little things. Express yourself freely. Don't be afraid of what others think. It is your life. Live it. Live it the way you want.
To many people misplace their priority and live a miserable life. Its those around you who care and love you that makes a big difference in your life. We are what I call "sensual" people. By this I mean we all react based on our sense and feelings. We are emotional beings. All life and all of our actions are based on our own feelings. The emotions that we feel determines what we do. We are need senses. We use music and art to escape and to feel.
This is not bad, if focused right.
So get out there and enjoy your life. Enjoy your presences on this planet. Be aware of your breathing, your body, your essences. You are a unique person that does not exist anywhere.
Do it.. let go out there and live life..

Monday, June 27, 2011

What is the next Chapter

Taken in Lake Tahoe during a 2 day hike.

We are approaching the end of yet another month, We are now moving on to the second half of 2011. I look back, which I have been doing more and more lately, and wonder if I made the right turn. If I did indeed take the right path in life.

I can't complain, I have my health, a good job and live comfortably. I can't help to think that there has to be more. There is a sense of un-fulfillment currently in my life. A dissatisfaction with everything. There is a certain void. Of course, having been out of a 2.5 year relationship doesn't help either. I won't discuss that right here, since I am still feeling resentful and completely discourage.

I am going to talk about a subject that I really dont like to talk about. I never felt comfortable talking about dating. Since it is a personal thing and people tend to take what I say the wrong way. People naturally tend to judge others. Even when we say we dont, we still do.

Dating has become boring for me. It is not as exciting anymore. Maybe your saying, you have not found the right person yet. Well that could be true. I wonder if I should be dating, or if I am better of just being single for the rest of my life. Is it selfish to want to be alone?
I guess in a way, I miss having someone to love and be loved. It is what all humans crave for. It is part of who we are. We are in constant search for that partner that completes us. I dont know what is going to happen in the next 6 months. A lot could happen.

One thing is for sure, I am not going to wait. If it happens it happens. I move forward with whatever plans I have and if that special someone happens to come along then, Great, I will have someone to share it with.
Now, being single again, leaves me a bit on the edge. I don't know how to even start. Do I want to start again? I guess what it is is that I know I will have to get to know someone new and that person will have to get to know me. The cycle repeats again. Here we go... this could take weeks and months. I dont think I no longer have patience for this.

I might sound cynical about this whole dating thing.. but if you knew what I have gone through you would totally understand. It is the process of dating that I dont like. Unfortunately it has to be done that way. I am a super hypersensitive person with a lot of emotions in me. I wear my feeling on my sleeves. Most guys are not like that so I am cursed in that way. I care too much and I dont want to care. I dont want to feel. I am at the age that I am to old to be playing these dating games. It brings to mind the Peacocks, trying to impress their prospects with an array of beautiful feathers. The most beautiful one, wins the heart of their mate.

So, I ask myself at this time. What is in store for me in the next couple of months. I need something that can get me going. Not only in relationship but in everything else. I am planning to run an ultra in September and I am hoping that this would kick my butt. I am so hungry for adventure and a challenge. But at the same time, I am also starving for some kind of love. Real love.. not the pretend I need you love. I am tired of that kind of love. The being used and abuse type of love.
Enough said and enough of my ranting. I move one and I dont look back. That is all I can do for now.
Cheers


Sunday, June 19, 2011

Another Birthday

Me as a baby
Well, here I am another year older. I can't say much has happened. I can say that a lot of the negativity has gone. Its been a long time coming. I hate to say it but the last 2 years has not been all that great due to personal drama and issue. But now, I begin a new year. A fresh start. I am moving ahead and not looking back.
My new focus for the next year is going to be more for myself and also giving more of myself to others who actually deserves it.
For my goal this year is the following.
1. Run my first Ultra in Hell, MI 5o miler. Part of the "Dance with Dirt" Serious. In September
2. Run the Rock and Roll St. Louis Marathon in October
3. Run the Rock and Roll Las Vegas marathon in December at NIGHT
4. Run the Rock and Roll half marathon in December.

I also want to do at least 1 or 2 century rides.

Yes.. it is basically all physical goals but it is the only thing that keeps me sane. It motivates me and helps me to relieve stress.

Another year... a fresh positive start

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Where should I be and where should I go?

Taken in the area between Yellowstone and Grand Tetons in HDR

In days like this I can't help to think of why am I here inside my four wall square? Its a perfect 74 degrees here in Chicago today. I look around me and everyone is rushing and moving and going somewhere in a hurry. No one is stopping for anything or anyone. We humans are like little nanobots running around with set of instructions that we follow and there is no deviation from it. Reminds me of an old game I used to play called Lemmings. We can't seem to break that habit. Of course we have to do what we need to do to survive "man made and dictated society".
There used to be a time when all we did is survive. We had to gather our food, do our chores and make sure our shelter is good and well protected. Making sure we have fire. All the essentials. We would run and hike to far places that no one has ever been before. If we did not like it we would leave.
Today, we obviously don't do any of these things. Everything is done for us. There is no need to hunt or gather food. We just go to the market. Everything revolves around advancements in technology that makes us more efficient to do nothing. Let it do everything for us so we can become more lazy. Everything now is short cutting. How can I do it faster? How can I get there quicker.
Don't take me wrong, I do appreciate it and see the connivence factor but hope we, as human in this society, do not forget where and what we are. Can we survive a world without electricity? Can we make it on our own in a world where its everyone for themselves? Do we know where to go and what to take? If something would happen and we would need to run out of our houses and run for the hills. would we be prepare for that? It almost makes me think about making a backpack for "Just in case" scenario.
I know this sounds like a rambling of an out of whack person on the far side of the universe... but I am just thinking. That is what this blog all about... providing a platform for myself to express to others what I am feeling and what my current perspective is. However, I hope I have not deviated for the real reason for this blog and that is to document my adventures in hiking, camping, traveling, marathoning, cycling....etc.
Soon, once it get myself together, I will be out and about seeking a new adventures.

Happy trails...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

HELL, Michigan... Dance with Dirt



Ok, I have been thinking about this for a long time. Actually, I would have to say that it has been almost 2 years. I think now is the time. I will be during 43 years old this June and I am not getting any younger. I don't feel old or look that old, (I hope). Age is a number and it is how you feel and act. The secret to looking and feeling young for me has always been exercise. Running as number 1 for me and then cycling. Keep that heart pumping. Of course, I am lucky I have been blessed with the Longevity genes, through my dad and looking young through my mom.

I am going to do the "Dance with Dirt" in Hell Michigan. Appropriate name. Now I have ran the last 3 marathon with ZERO training and survived with no recovery pains at all. I would not suggest this at all. After taking a bit of a break from real training. I am going to work hard and train hard for longer distance. This will be my goal. Training for an Ultra is not the same as training for a marathon. I will be out there for no longer then 12 hours. So I need to endure. I dont doubt that will not finish, I know I can do it... but this is going to required training no matter what.
The discipline and structure and some alternative training has to be there.
Here is the website



"As long as I am healthy and alive, there is nothing the can stop me. The only thing that can stop me is death"